What to do with my life?

I am set to graduate in only a few months that I am absolute certain will fly by. So in the face of suddenly being thrown into the world of what I like to call "big girl" jobs I am on the hunt as what to do with this opportunity. I have gone to school for the past 3 and a half years striving toward a journalism degree. I love the journalism program here, it has helped a lot, and I feel with some more real life experience I will be ready for The New York Times (I'm exaggerating a little).

I know what you are thinking
"Shawndra, you'll have a college degree in journalism! Be a journalist!"

That is the obvious solution to the current predicament I find myself waist deep in. There are a few set backs though.

1. Not a lot of work outside of sports, for journalists in Oklahoma (I would like to focus more on the arts and literature)

2. Doing hard news is a little intimidating for me, we don't get a lot of breaking news at UCO

3. Its not where my heart is.

I love to write, I could write everyday of my life and be happy. In fact I do. But I love writing fiction. Not a lot of call for fiction in the world of news.

So I thought hey book editor, too bad I didn't go to school for that. Then I thought hey novelist. Doesn't pay the bills right away. So hopefully, I will have a huge epiphany before May 8 (mark your calendars friends). Then I will be diving head first into the world of whatever it is I will be doing.

My Mountain

Here is another Creative Writing assignment

My mountain smiles at me, the grey is inviting
The snow, the rain, the clouds, I love it all
The grey is inviting

My shivers are a comfort
With these come peace
The cold is a blanket of solitude

The dark green against the white snow
My mountain allows me to be free
There is no better place I know

Society is far away
I stand high above the world
I know the mountain will let me stay

I breathe in the crisp, clean air
Engulfed by nature completely
Contentment so deep, that no Oklahoma wind can tear

No worries, no schedules, or places to be
My mountain can stop time
I can take in all that I see

Evergreens blow their aroma to my door
A lovely empty quiet allows me to breathe
Life can’t weigh me down anymore

I travel to the mountains
The grey is inviting

Out of the Dark by Shawndra Roberts

Here are the first few paragraphs of what is going on in my mind... hope you like it!

Light is used to mean so many different things. Sometimes it means reasoning, such as the age of enlightenment. It can mean the illumination of an area created by electricity or other various chemicals. Light is also used in the illustration of good in contrast to evil. Light represents something that is pure and causes a person to realize what is right. So if light is good, and right, dark must be what is evil. I use to like the dark. It was calming for me, an escape from all the things I could see. The horrible things that occurred around me from day to day would be wiped away when I went into my unlit room. It wasn’t until later that I experienced just what darkness truly meant. The inner darkness that happens when you have decided to turn away from all light, all things sane.
I had always felt like I had been called to leave home. To get away from the safe and known atmosphere that I had grow up in. I grew up in a small southern town. No one really needs to know the name; the majority of them have the same anatomy. I went to high school, stayed involved, had friends, went to church. A typical life of anyone growing up in my town. Never truly feeling like I belonged, I tried a lot of things to make that feeling go away. Spent an insane amount of time doing things. I joined every club possible, went to every church activity on the calendar, and in the spare time I did have I was with friends. Being alone was never good. The tugging feeling would appear in my stomach. Pulling me away from the normalcy of that little town. It still tugs every once in while when I let it. Suppressing what I was supposed to be doing proved to be ridiculously exhausting.
I don’t know if you have ever felt that way. Felt like you were meant for so much more than what society expects of us.

Ophelia's View

An assignment from my creative writing class... still needs some work.

Princes are often portrayed to be quite charming, brave, and overall wonderful. Their princesses just have to sit around, singing stupid songs, waiting for their knights to save them. Well, I would like to say that not all princes are like this, the one in my story in particular.

Maybe Denmark is defective when it comes to royalty. Juliet gets Romeo, who dies for her, but then again she offs herself so that is probably a bad example. Viola just has to cross dress for a while and the Duke practically throws himself at her after she reveals that she is indeed a woman. No hard feelings at all for the deception. Even Katherina, a complete shrew, gets a somewhat normal man to go for her. And all the fairy tales where every cookie cutter prince comes riding in to sweep these lazy women off their feet. No one shuns their girlfriends in Disney.

Whom am I left with? Hamlet. He was great at first, not a bad looking person, definitely intelligent. He is always talking to his father, which would not be a bad thing if his father were alive. Dysfunctional does not even begin to cover that family. Hamlet really has some mother issues as well. He spends an awful lot of time with her, a little obsessive I would think. Considering she married his uncle.
I was head over heels for that boy. My father and brother tried to get me to see clearly but love does silly things to women. I was sitting in my room one day and here comes Hamlet, his clothes in complete disarray; he would not even speak to me. He just kept nodding a bewildered look upon his face.

All the princesses get to be lovely and soft spoken. Technically I am not a princess but I should get better than the reputation I have been dealt. I am written as crazy. They do not even tell my side of the story. That Hamlet just goes off on this rant, telling me to go to a nunnery. That would upset anyone. To hear their once future husband telling you to give up on men! Just completely blow me off, because a ghost tells him to avenge his death. I got labeled crazy. How ridiculous! You would get a little mad.

Then he became hell bent to kill everyone in sight, including my father. He just stabs whoever is hiding behind the curtains, does not even bother to ask. It is his uncle who he wants to kill, but he is more of the kill first, question later type. This is the time I chose to take things into my own hands.
During their little play, to which I was not even asked to come, I decided to make an appearance anyway. I grabbed as many flowers out of Queen Gertrude’s herb garden as I could, including rue which is highly poisonous. I held some rue for myself, and then I was to pass out the flowers. However, not before I placed ground arsenic in the pollen of course, with just a hint of anthrax. Where did I get anthrax? That information isn’t necessary. I went to each person, claiming how each flower was a symbol. Explaining the symbol then I waited. Watching them breathe the flowers. I smiled, but then my smile faded as I realized Hamlet was not there. I watched one by one as the royal family, their guards, and my brother collapsed dead. Frustrated I went out to look for Hamlet. I decided to climb into a willow, so to get a better look at the grounds.

I was not aware that this willow was right above a brook, that was rather shallow. I caught site of Hamlet in the grave yard, I took a single step to far and the branch broke. Causing me to fall into the brook, killing me as I struck the rocks below.
After my death, Hamlet claimed to love my four thousand times that of a brother. I think he is slightly more attuned to the dead than the living. Which is fitting, he did not live much longer after me.

Plans for Life

East Coast life seems to be calling my name! Okay so I have narrowed it down to two ideal jobs.
1) Working on tv for the travel channel
2) Writer/review columnist for the NY Times.

Both would allow for tons of travel and opportunity, and Elizabeth would be a home schooled, genius child with the world as her playground. I know I have raved about wanting to live in Colorado, and that place still has my heart on a very strong piece of rope, but there is so much more I would love to see. I am only 21 (22 very soon), so I have plenty of time to do all of this in. So why not dream!?
That is how things happen. How paintings are created. Novels are formed. Even countries found. Dreaming is the best thing a person can do, the only step is to push that dream into action! So let's see where this dream takes me (and Clifton, and Elizabeth).

My Weight Loss Journey: 15 Stubborn Pounds To Go

17 months from the day I brought my daughter into the world I am still not where I thought I would be. After running, Zumba, going to all natural foods, and cutting out sugar I am still 15 pounds away from my pre pregnancy weight.

In high school I was in every sport I could manage. I was working out as much as possible, as hard as possible. I also had a coach telling me how to work out and what to do to get into shape.

Now I haven’t been as consistent as I would like. But life kind of gets in the way. Staying up all night with Elizabeth, going to school, working, and squeezing in time with the hubby often push aside any desire to hit the gym. Now there are hours in the day where I could drag my self there but the few precious moments I have of quiet are all too tempting.

I interviewed the Marketing manager for the Wellness Center at my school, he told me that one major factor in working out is motivation. Motivation to get yourself to a gym at 5 am. I always feel amazing the rest of the day after I have worked out, but its reminding myself of this as my alarm clock is buzzing.

It is time to get my butt in gear. I have purposefully cut out times in my day where I will be baby/school/hubby free so that I HAVE to go work out. Also I have the motivation of showing my daughter a healthy example. I will track my progress, as well as log the hours and routines I will be doing. I will also log what I ate that day.

Prayers needed!!! : )

The Death of Chivalry

I find it extremely ironic that I post this onto a blog, although its original was actually on a piece of paper. Outdated concept I know. I fear that this world has indeed been drained of the virtuous ideals that were once common practice. Being a hopeless idealistic person, I would like to believe that somewhere, someone would reinstate the noble lifestyle. One might think I am speaking of knights and ancient kings. This is where the thought began, but as it developed I realized that no honor can be found anywhere. Face to face conversation is rare, integrity a lofty hope, romanticism diminished into the ridiculous process of online dating. It is painful to me to witness what this technology dependent world has come to. Manners are a special treat when practiced. A female being treated like a lady without some preconceived intentions is almost unheard of. So, why is it that I mourn this most tragic event? Is it because I have to escape to hundred year old literary pieces to cling to any knowledge that dignity did exist at one point? I mourn this loss because I believe it is disheartening to picture a world where courtship is no more than an e-mail or message over the wires of an invented machine. A world that no longer knows the meaning of valor. Where Shakespeare is something shoved down the throats of junior high students who have yet to harness their own emotions, let alone be able to delve into the thoughts of a poet who lived centuries before them. This world has slaughtered chivalry. This internet based, i-addicted world that is so bent on instant gratification it no longer can experience the satisfaction of patience, inner peace, and stillness.

My heart breaks for future generations that will never see what they are capable of. Human nature is no longer that of conscience decisions. Our public figures look at love as a fleeting emotion to be dispensed on whomever walks by that they feel infatuated with. Then when faced with accountability write it off as an addiction. I may have pre-tech values, but they are values that have withstood war and famine and plagues. Values that have been rebirthed in books, plays, and movies for generations. Have people become so petty to ignore basic principles of which so many have been decorated for? Chivalry and chivalrous actions cannot be buried thus forgotten. Sometimes it takes realizing what a great loss we would be suffering if we allowed such a monstrosity to happen. Look at the world as it turns into grey before you. Is this the sadness that is to overtake mankind? I truly hope not.

Gotta Love Fiction

Fiction is always more fun to write. True life stuff can be very depressing sometimes, and you have no control on how the story is going to go. And nothing super crazy, like time travel, ever happens in real life either. I am going to school to be a journalist, and I can see the dreary ins and outs of non fiction tragedy wear on people. Fiction is a good escape, a way to write something that won't end in a arrest or someone being buried because of someone else's problems. Biographies and real stories are good too, its always a plus to be well read on history and people who actually existed. Fiction can also give us an idea on how things should be, the virtuous and noble protaganists facing problems the way we should.