"Drowning on Dry Land"

Have you ever been swimming in the deep end of a pool, or a lake and everything is going good, you decide to go under. But all of a sudden something strange happens, you become disoriented, forgetting which way is the way you should swim to safety. You're caught in a whirlwind of confusion, can't figure which way is up. Against you're better knowledge, you begin to somewhat panic, trying to swim, but you feel as if you're going in circles. Swimming one way, you try to reach the surface but feel as if its getting further away rather than closer. Sometimes my feelings get that way. I know better, I have no idea why I've all of a sudden become confused and dsitraught but I do. I get dragged down in over my head, and the water is freezing, dark. I reach up for someone to pull me up, but the finger tips are just out of my reach. I'm losing air, and I know I'm losing air. But I know better, I know how to swim, I know how to get myself out of this, but time and time again I become engulfed in waves of some sort of sadness that slowly creeps its way in. Unlike a tide which has cycles you can predict, this tempest comes when I least expect it, and the most unlikely times to come. Why do I let myself get like this? And then the thought crosses my mind, maybe its time to give up. I've been fighting it for such a long time, its so tiring. Maybe I should give in to its fight. It would be easier than pushing myself to the surface for countless times just to be pulled back under. I just get so lossed in it's depth and darkening abyss, its easy to quit.